To freeze or not to freeze..... that's not really the question.

This was going to initally be about the freezer that broke and then mysteriously mended itself ( as they do in the mothers home). As I thought about it though it has become more than that. Really to me it is about loosing a parent whilst they are still here. It happened with Dad, and it broke my heart. Now, we are loosing Mum. Slowly, for sure, but the Mum I knew as Mum, on a weekly basis disapears.

When she is being a pain and I am the none too patient daughter it is easy to forget the person that she was. The one whose girls were never in the wrong, the one who would fight to the death for them. Who would listen for hours about dates, evenings out, problems, joys. Who gave away hugs and cuddles freely. Who cooked so well, whose house was always open. Who would let you have anything she had. Who never worried or cared about anything. Who could knit and sew. Who was an example of compassion and service. She did silly things like lock herself out or walk home leaving the car at the shops forgetting she had taken it.

Now, she can bearly hear you on the phone, now she hardly eats and never cooks. Now she can mainly only focus on herself, now she worries and frets. She still likes hugs.She can at times still be caring and compassionate.Now she can not see well enough to sew or workout a knitting pattern. Now the 'silly' actions are a worry not funny.

Now we are the parent and she is the child.

So, you love the 'new' Mum. You try to remember the old whilst holding you patience and trying to stop you heart from snapping.You are not sure how this will end, but you have been there before.

Never before has it been more true that only when you are in this situation can you understand it.

I am sure the next blog will be back to the giggles.........that is they way Mum original would want it.

Tumbling

You would think it was simple wouldn't you? Broken tumble dryer, therefore take the Mum to get a new one. The hint should be...."take the Mum". Actually the choosing was fine- even paying fine ( guess whose credit card came out!).
Now it has arrived, late, and the men 'Just dumped it in the kitchen' and it does not fit as it needs a 10 metre gap around it, yes 10 metres! And she knows because she has read the instructions! Looks like the tumble dryer needs a whole house to itself!
This was all explained at 9.15 this morning, which was fine if it wasn't a Saturday.

Off now to see the property listings to see if there is a house suitable for a dryer.

Wish me luck.

Just like the Queen

Went to visit Mum to check all ok before we went away. She needed to go shopping so we popped her into the local town. Not wanting to completely take over,and to let her be a little independent, I left her to go to the chemist on her own. Should have remembered 1. I need to take over and 2. NEVER let her be independent. There came a call from the till to the door where I was waiting as the dutiful daughter..." I have not got any money on me"! Now this may have not been too bad if long suffering hubby had not handed her her weekly money just before leaving the house!!.
So I paid for the cream..... and also the pair of sandles, the two blouses and the present for her great grand children.
Before you feel the need for a collection for me, do not worry, we have power of attorney for just these little situations.

Modern Technology

Came in from a taxi duty with number 1 son and checked the answer phone and found that I had a message. Dialed the code, listened, and was met- literally- with the 30 second countdown music, followed by the sound of the adverts.
You may realise that it took me all of 2 seconds to realise who had dialed my number, got the answer machine but not spoken. Luckily the TV is so loud that at least I did not get a silent call.
Yes, I did call her back and was met with complete bewilderment as she thought she had left a message!

I'll have a vowel please.................

She doesn't like to be beside the seaside...........

Mum has just returned from her week by the sea. This has been an annual event, but she is 'not going again' To be fair it does seem different from other years, but it's the way she 'tells it' that makes me smile.

Firstly the cheque we sent for payment did not arrive. ( She did not think it funny when I said we thought they might hold her to ransom!) Having no concept of cheques or how you can follow payments she is worry worrying about having to pay twice, even though I tell her my long suffering husband is dealing with ( one day he will leave me).

Next, they only cooked two meals ( the rest were bought in). One meal was a roast, but ' you know, not that proper meat'. Actually, I don't know, but agreed just for a quiet life.

Then there was Nelly ( name has been changed to protect what could be an innocent party) who appears to be quite determined to not do much. Apparently when out at the shopping centre, sat on a bench and refused to move! I think that her biggest crime was not wanting to go for a cup of tea.

I really still have not got over, and may never, the fact that they took them to see belly dancers for their evening entertainment.

The bar was only open twice this year..... did he remember Mum's love of an Irish coffee liqueur?

It is a shame when holidays don't turn out as you wish. My thoughts are really with the owner of the hotel who I think very shortly will be looking to run a place in .........well anywhere where the average age is below 50( that would count out long suffering hubby as guest....oops)

A case of a mistaken house

My 83 year old Mum is like a whirlwind; she can create disater in her path, remaining totally ignorant of her actions and consequences! The lastest long story short....
Minor hysterics on phone to me as she had let men from the Water Board in to carry out work they said was free. " had she done wrong?" Well, let see........YES! Got her carers to go and visit so as to calm and to call me when they arrived to talk through. They were concerned ( me too) Called the police to advise, but then had a call from 3rd carer who was there when Mum let men in ( her assuming we had booked work), she said they had been there for 2 hours. Began to think that ' robbers' may have made for a much quicker getaway! Told police to hang fire. 3rd carer offered to go to Mum and see what work had been done.
Called to say " they have done a beautiful job and cleared up perfectly. New extractor fans in bathroom and kitchen" I am now convinced that either Mum has the nicest con men in the country or " she's done 'it' again". Could not figure out how this had happened though until the carer mentioned the men had asked mum if she was with a ( will remain unnamed) housing associaton. She is not.......it is a private house, but mum is very deaf and says yes and no on a ramdom basis so who knows the reply...........
Called Police back and said reckoned that workman ( for that is what they now are , not robbers or con men - they may, of course, also now be sacked!!) had wrong house. I could hear the giggle the other end of the phone.
On checking with housing association is appears men had correct number house, but wrong road.
As they said " On a positive note your Mum has had some good work done for free"
If there are problems with the fans do you think I could get the housing assocaition to fix them!
Hours on the phone, at least 8 people involved and all Mum could say was " Oh dear" and " could I have some green bags when you do my shopping".....................